Internal Affairs
by mcat
Summary: Martin has second thoughts. Slash


Internal Affairs

By mcat - mcat40@hotmail.com

June 18, 2003

For Nancy - for all the great lists and Blackraptor sites she runs!

Spoilers for the episode "Fallout"

"Where the hell is Fitzgerald?"

"He and Danny left already," Samantha replied as she prepared to leave as well, getting her purse out from under her desk.

Jack looked at his watch, surprised when he saw that it was five o'clock already. "They didn't waste any time," he muttered.

"Friday night. Happy hour. The blonde with the great ass," Samantha explained with a raised eyebrow, reminding her coworkers of the men's favorite topic of conversation that week.

"Ah, to be young and single…" Vivian remarked as she headed for the door.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, taking a quick glance at Samantha before heading back to his office.

+ + + + + + +

Danny and Martin sat side by side at the bar. They faced out, leaning against the edge of the bar, watching the various people around them.

"Think that blond will show again?" Danny asked, taking a sip from his beer.

"Hope so," Martin replied with a wink. "That was some ass!"

"You perv!" Danny replied, swatting Martin's arm, spilling his beer a bit.

"Me?! Like all week you haven't been telling me what you wanted to do with it?" he retorted. "_I_ was just looking!"

"Looking my ass," Danny muttered into his beer.

"Maybe later, if you get up off it," Martin returned with a smirk.

Danny was about to reply to that, when Martin elbowed him. "Look, there they are!"

Danny looked toward the bar's entrance and watched as a young couple walked in and headed toward one of the back tables.

"Think they're gonna dance tonight?"

"Lord, I hope so," Martin replied. "Damn, I had wet dreams all last weekend just from watching them."

"You sure it was because of them?" Danny asked quietly.

"Who else would I be dreaming about?" Martin asked innocently.

"Look, there they go!" Danny announced, standing up and bringing his beer to get closer to the dance floor for a better look.

Martin followed and stood just behind Danny and watched as the couple danced, writhed, and practically had sex with each other to the beat of the music.

"Damn," Martin whispered, needing to adjust himself in his pants.

+ + + + + + +

Martin had barely stepped over the threshold of his apartment's doorway and closed the door when he felt himself grabbed and shoved against it. Danny's hands were everywhere and if Martin wanted to protest, he couldn't because Danny's tongue had a firm place in his mouth. He eagerly returned the kiss and got his hands moving as well, removing Danny's jacket.

Danny began moving his kisses downward, licking, sucking and nipping at Martin's strong jaw and then down his neck, as his hands began unbuttoning Martin's shirt. He was a man on a mission.

"You got that song in your head?" Martin managed to gasp out as Danny began sucking on his left nipple.

"Oh yeah."

"Yeah," Martin agreed.

"God, Fitz, what you do to me," Danny gasped.

Then he moved further south and Martin let out a groan.

"Oh, yeah, Danny, go for it."

"Anything you say, college boy," Danny replied.

After a several frantic minutes, both men slid down toward the floor, sated. Danny supported Martin's weight on his thighs as he wrapped his arms around his chest, whispering words of soothing encouragement into his ear.

"Gonna dream about that blond this weekend?" Danny whispered.

"What blond?" 

+ + + + + + +

"So, boys, how was Happy Hour?" Vivian asked when she entered the office.

Martin and Danny looked at each other and grinned.

"That good, huh? Let me guess, your blonde showed up?"

"How'd you know, Viv?" Danny asked innocently, pouring cups of coffee for Martin and himself.

"How long have I known you, Danny? Please. I can tell that you got lucky this weekend just by the way you're smiling."

Samantha entered the conversation by saying, "Looks like the blonde had a friend, huh Martin?"

"Look at that blush!" Vivian exclaimed, pointing to Martin.

Martin rolled his eyes at Vivian's remark, but couldn't keep the smile off his face. The two men had "gotten lucky" all right. Just not with the blond...

"You guys," Samantha muttered, shaking her head and rolling her own eyes. She gathered up a file from her desk and headed out of the office.

"I don't know, Danny," Vivian went on, sitting down at her desk and getting her schedule out. "Martin's been good for you." She missed the way the two of them nearly spilled their coffees as she bent over to search her bottom drawer for something. "He must be attracting the women for you. You never got this much before he started working here," she continued, sitting up, having found the file she needed.

"That's right," Martin quickly spoke up. "Chicks love me. They bring their friends for Danny."

"Oh give it up, college boy!" Danny retorted, throwing a pencil at Martin. "And Vivian, that's just not true!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

Vivian smiled as she watched the two men bicker and throw pens, pencils and other desk paraphernalia at each other. It was nice to have good people to work with. And some comic relief, too.

"Children, if you're through?" Jack said, questioningly, as he came out of his office, Samantha following. When Martin and Danny calmed down and gave him their attention, Jack told them about their new case. "Sydney Harrison, last seen entering an elevator at her workplace..."

+ + + + + + +

Martin and Danny sat together in a diner, taking a quick break for lunch.

"So what's your take on this?" Danny asked, taking a bite from his hamburger.

"Pretty obvious that it was someone she knew, by the video," Martin replied. "I'm thinking maybe an ex-boyfriend or something. What about you?"

"I don't know. Seems too ordinary. I'm thinking that maybe she's into some role-playing and is right now getting some, saying, "No! Don't! Stop!" to her kidnapper."

Martin leaned in close and asked, "You sure that just isn't what YOU want to be doing right now?"

"Ooh, I thought you'd never ask! Think we got time?" Danny replied quickly, checking his watch.

"You moron!" Martin said, slapping the back of Danny's head.

"No, seriously," Danny began. "I think there's gotta be some money involved in this one. I don't know, it just reeks ransom note, ya know?"

Martin checked his watch. "We better get back to the office.

After they paid their bill and walked toward the diner's exit, Danny put his hand on Martin's arm. "I was only half-kidding about the role-playing thing, you know," he whispered.

"I know," Martin returned with a wink. "Maybe when this case is over and we get some down time..."

+ + + + + + +

Martin quickly averted his eyes and tried to pay attention to the file in his hand. But it was hard not to listen in on the conversation between Jack and his boss, Paula Van Doren. _Jack and Samantha?? Shit!_ He knew the two were close, but thought it was just from having a close working relationship, the camaraderie that comes with working together. He'd never suspected that the two had been romantically involved. He knew Jack and his wife were currently separated, but he hadn't known why. Wasn't his business. Now, maybe it was. And the way Van Doren was talking to Jack right now... Martin continued to wonder about the two. Were they still together? He realized now just why Jack was so stressed out about the hostage situation, or more stressed out, as the case may be. He guessed he'd be stressed out if a lover was being held hostage, too. And his thoughts went immediately to Danny.

__

But we're not like them. We're not lovers. He's not my boyfriend.

Then the inner voice inside him asked, _"Then who is he?"_

__

He's my coworker. We work together.

"And fuck each other on weekends."

__

It doesn't mean anything. We're just a couple of guys.

__

"That spend all their time off together."

__

We enjoy the same things. We have the same interests. Sports. Travelling. Watching old westerns.

"Kissing. Giving blowjobs. Getting thoroughly fucked."

"Fitzgerald! You with me?" Jack asked, bringing Martin back to reality.

"Yeah, sorry. Need some more coffee," he mumbled, shaking his thoughts away.

+ + + + + + +

"Well, Fitz, it looks like another case is solved!" Danny announced, putting his arm around Martin's shoulders.

Martin quickly shrugged it off and kept walking down the hallway, heading for the parking garage. "Yeah, another case solved," he said quietly.

"Hey, Samantha's gonna be fine," Danny said, thinking that Martin was still worried about her. "Doc said she'll be good as new in a few weeks."

"I know, Danny, I was there," Martin replied tersely. Seeing Danny's hurt look, Martin closed his eyes and stopped walking. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "It's been a long day and I'm wiped. I just want to go home and go to sleep, you know?"

"Yeah, sure," Danny replied, patting Martin's shoulder. "I'll see you in the morning."

He watched as Martin headed for his truck, got in and drove off. It _had_ been a tough case all around, and Samantha's injury certainly hadn't helped morale. He and Vivian had only heard about what had happened second and third hand, and had wanted to be there for her, to help get her out of that bookstore. But they had their own jobs to do. Maybe they had had it easy after all. Martin was right there, in the thick of things, and he still couldn't do anything to help her. Danny figured that that was what was bothering Martin now. That and just plain exhaustion, too. Danny let out a yawn and a groan as his body let him know that it was tired, too. He headed for his car.

+ + + + + + +

Martin collapsed onto his couch and let out a loud sigh. He wasn't lying when he told Danny that he was tired and needed to go home. _But you weren't quite telling the whole truth, either, Fitz. _He took a swig of the beer he'd gotten out and let his head fall back against the top of the couch. He couldn't get Danny out of his mind. Or, more to the point, the thought of _losing_ Danny, out of his mind. He kept thinking about what he would have done if it had been Danny in the bookstore instead of Samantha. Would he have been as emotional as Jack? Would he have gone in after him, as Jack had done for Samantha? And then another thought came to mind. Would _his_ boss be yelling at him for having an affair with his coworker? For being too emotionally involved?

"Shit," was all he could come up with to answer those questions.

+ + + + + + +

"Hey, Fitz! Wait up!" Danny called, running down the hall. "Aren't you going to Happy Hour tonight? I thought we were set to go."

"Sorry, Danny," Martin replied. "Not this week. I'm heading out to my Mom's for the weekend. It's her birthday."

"Oh...yeah. Okay. Maybe next weekend, then."

"Yeah. Maybe next weekend."

+ + + + + + +

"So how was your Mom's birthday?"

"Huh?" Martin asked, looking up from his coffee and a file on his desk.

"Your Mom? You said you were spending the weekend with her?" Danny reminded him.

"Oh, yeah. She's great. Had a good time."

Danny didn't get to ask Martin any more about the weekend, or why Martin seemed to be reluctant to talk about it, as Vivian interrupted, telling them that they had a new case to work on.

"Looks like we're working with NYPD on this one," she said. "Sixteen year old girl, Natalie Parenti, didn't come home from school today. NYPD still has an open homicide case on her older sister, Patricia - six months ago, she never came home from school. They found her body three days later."

"Martin, Danny," Jack spoke up. "You two head to the school, start questioning any staff members still there. Vivian and I will be talking with the parents."

As each of the agents got the information they'd need to start their investigations, Vivian watched the two younger men. She thought she saw something different about them this morning. They didn't seem as chummy as usual. 

"No Happy Hour this weekend, I guess," she said to herself.

+ + + + + + +

The case had been an intense one – with a short time limit for finding the young woman alive looming above their heads, the team was all business. Between the FBI teams and the NYPD patrols, Martin and Danny thought they'd interviewed about three hundred different people over the course of two days – from family members and friends, to teachers, fellow students, the ice cream man, the butcher, the baker… In the end, it came back to the girls' family. Danny had been told by a couple of school teachers that the girls' seventeen-year-old stepbrother had been acting strangely lately and when he checked with Vivian, he found that the boy had given several conflicting statements. When called on them, the boy had all but confessed to abducting both sisters and it was Martin who managed to get the whereabouts of Natalie Parenti out of him – bound and left on a hot apartment house roof. Then it was a race against time to find and rescue the girl before she succumbed to the hot summer heat. 

Thirty-seven hours after they'd gotten the case, they'd solved and closed it. Now, the team was back in the office, finishing up their reports. Danny looked up and over at Martin. Business behind him, he now had time to ponder pleasure. Or, the recent lack thereof. He'd tried to be nonchalant about it, tried to pretend he didn't know, but inwardly, he did know - Martin had distanced himself. Broken off their… _Our what? Affair? Relationship? Partnership? Weekly one night stand? Buddy-fuck?_ Danny thought some more. _Whatever... Whatever it is, he's trying to stop it, and lying to do so._

Danny didn't want that. He liked Martin. A lot. They were a good team. They were good friends. _And more…_ So what changed that? Danny tried to come up with anything he may have done or said to put Martin off. He couldn't think of anything, but recalling back to the night of the bookstore incident, and Samanatha's shooting, he realized that that was when it started. _Samantha? Did Fitz have a thing for Samantha? Nah, he would have told me, right? Right? Well, we'll give him another shot. Maybe after we get a little down time, I'll get him to talk… Yeah._

Martin, meanwhile, was very aware of the way Danny was watching him. He determinedly kept his eyes on his computer monitor, though, as he wrote up his version of the events on the roof, rescuing Natalie Parenti. _Don't look at him, Fitz. Don't. He'll just try and get you to talk about it. He knows. He knows something's up. _ The computer beeped at him and he realized that he'd hit the wrong key. "Shit!" He took a deep breath and continued to type, trying to block all thoughts of Danny from his mind. 

__

"Danny deserves better than this," the little voice told him. _"He deserves to know why you're breaking up with him."_

__

We're not breaking up! He's not my boyfriend or anything, there's nothing TO break up!

"He IS your friend, though."

Martin squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingers and shut his eyes tight against the headache that little voice was causing.

"Fitz?"

Martin wanted nothing more than to finish the report and get home. He took another deep breath to try to calm down and will away the ache behind his eyes.

"Fitz?"

The voice finally broke through his thoughts and Martin opened his eyes. "Huh?"

"You okay?" Danny called, having seen the pain in Martin's expression.

"Yeah, just tired. Got a headache from all this," he replied quickly. 

"You almost done? Mine's printing now," Danny went on.

"Yeah, just gotta save it, first," Martin answered, hitting the appropriate keys on his keyboard. 

Danny nodded his head and watched as Martin continued with his report and cleared up his desk. "You going straight home?"

Martin heard the other question in Danny's voice, the one that asked if he wanted some company at home. "Yeah. Gonna grab some nighttime Tylenol and hit the sack. Not good for much else."

"We could grab a pizza or something, first. Food hasn't been too high on your priority list these past couple of days," Danny replied. "Might be part of the reason for the headache," he added, hoping Martin would take him up on the offer.

"Nah, sorry, Danny. Not tonight."

"Not tonight, I've got a headache?" Danny sing-songed, only half jokingly.

Martin felt the stab of the words though; knew that Danny was hurting. "Something like that," he mumbled before heading to the printer to get his report.

He picked out both his and Danny's reports and dropped Danny's on his desk. He gave his a quick glance before signing it and bringing it to Jack. He turned around to find Danny right behind him, his own report in hand, ready to give to Jack.

"Good work, boys," Jack told them. "Vivian just called from the hospital. Looks like Natalie is going to be all right."

"Good to hear," Martin replied.

"Yeah, that's great," Danny added with a smile.

"We all set now?" Martin asked Jack, ready to escape.

"Yeah, head on out, both of you. See you tomorrow."

Jack shook his head as the two men practically disappeared from view. He took their reports and added them to his own in the case file folder in front of him.

+ + + + + + +

"Fitz! Fitz, will you wait up?!" Danny called, practically running after Martin through the parking garage. He felt a faint feeling of _déjà vu_ from the week before, when Martin had lied about going to visit his mother. He waited for the next lie.

"I told you, Danny," Martin said, turning around to face his partner. "I'm tired and I've got a headache. I just want to go home. Now. Alone."

"I just want to know what's going on," Danny responded. "Why are you doing this?"

Martin looked around them, at the other people in the parking garage and heaved out a big sigh. "This isn't the time or place, Danny. Not that there's anything to tell, anyway."

"Fitz!"

He turned around and headed for his truck, ignoring Danny's further calls to him. 

Danny stopped where he was and realized that Martin was at least partially right. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. The parking garage of the FBI building was _definitely _not the place to have this conversation. So he let Martin go. _For now._

+ + + + + + +

Martin wrapped one towel around his waist and rubbed his hair dry with another before walking out of the bathroom and heading to his bedroom. He stopped short at the door and groaned unhappily at the sight before him.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he growled.

"Thought maybe I could help you get rid of that headache," Danny replied suggestively from the bed. He was lying there in just his boxer shorts, leaning against a couple of pillows.

"I'm not in the mood. I thought I'd made that clear at work," Martin retorted. "And how did you get in here, anyway?"

"You left your door unlocked," Danny tsked, wagging a finger. "Shouldn't do that; never know what kind of nasty people might come in here."

"Yeah, I can see what you mean. Get out, Danny." Martin moved to his dresser and got some clothing out to wear.

"I'm here because I'm worried about you," Danny said, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed. "I want to know what's going on with you. With us."

Martin paused and leaned against the low dresser. After a minute, he said, "We work together, Danny. There is no 'us'."

Despite knowing somehow that they were coming, the words still hurt Danny. He tried to clamp down on his anger. "Fine. There is no 'us', not that way. But can't we at least still be friends? God, that sounded lame!" he winced. "Come on, Fitz! We were having a good time! No commitments, no strings. Just some good sex and… friendship!"

"I can't do that anymore, Danny!" Martin shouted back, slapping his hand against the dresser. He ground his teeth together, frustrated because he couldn't find the right words to say to Danny. "Things change, Danny," he finally whispered.

Danny's jealousy got the better of him, though and he said, "So you'd rather hang with Samantha? Fine." Then he gathered up his clothes and headed into the living room to get dressed, leaving a rather confused Martin behind.

__

Samantha?

He rushed into the living room after Danny.

"Samantha?!" he called. "What the hell does she have to do with this?" he asked, standing with his hands on his hips, watching as Danny tied his sneaker laces.

"Isn't she what it's all about?" Danny asked. "Ever since she got shot you've been giving me the cold shoulder. Lied to me. Figured you realized something, maybe the thought of losing her set off the spark." 

Martin couldn't miss the hurt in Danny's voice. The hurt he caused. He sank down onto the couch and dropped his head into his hands. "Not her," he murmured, shaking his head at the absurd suggestion.

"What?"

Martin looked up and met Danny's gaze. "Not her," he repeated. "You." When Danny didn't say anything, Martin added, "The thought of losing you," he finally admitted.

Danny turned on the couch to fully face Martin. "Losing me?" he asked. "I don't understand."

Martin leaned back on the couch and tilted his head back to look at the ceiling. "While the hostages were still in the bookstore, when Jack was negotiating… I overheard Van Doren chewing him out. About his affair with Samantha."

"And…?"

"And maybe I don't want that happening to us!" Martin replied quickly. "I don't want to mess up our work, or be the subject of office gossip."

"Whoa, whoa, time out," Danny interrupted, placing his hands in a "T" shape out in front of him. "You think people are gonna find out about us?" he asked. "Hell, Fitzgerald, where have you been? According to the gossip circle in the secretary pool, the women that know _everything _that goes on in the building, we are the biggest _heterosexual_ stud-muffins in the whole Bureau!"

"Well, if people can find out about Jack and Samantha, I think they can find out about us," Martin argued back.

"Sorry, that theory just doesn't hold water. The only reason anyone knows about those two is because Jack's wife stormed in and made a scene about finding some credit card receipt from Victoria's Secret in Jack's pants pocket. Hell, from what I understand, the two had been fooling around with each other for a year before that and no one knew!" Danny countered. "And since, to my knowledge, neither one of us has any other significant others hanging around, I don't think we need to worry about something like that happening."

Martin kept silent for a bit, thinking about Danny's words and reassurances. Yes, their possible outing was one of the reasons for his wanting to end things with Danny. But, then again, it really wasn't anything new. They'd had discussions about the need to be discreet before they started doing more than hanging out together. When they'd decided to start their casual…relationship. _But things aren't so casual anymore, Fitz. Can you tell Danny that?_

"I need you to leave, Danny," he said quietly.

But Danny wasn't ready to give in, yet. "Why?"

"Leave, Danny. Please."

Danny knew there was more to tell. They'd had the 'need for discretion' conversation a long time before this. So why was Martin getting all antsy now? He moved closer to Martin on the couch, letting their knees touch. 

"What's _really_ going on, Martin?" he asked. "What else happened during the hostage situation?"

Martin looked down at his hands, watched as he opened and closed his fists as they sat in his lap. _Maybe the truth will send Danny away?_

"I understood why Jack was so upset about the situation, more so than he needed to be," Martin replied. "It was because of Samantha. Because of his relationship with her." He turned his head to see if Danny was catching on. Danny didn't say anything yet. "Do I really have to spell it out?" he asked, frustrated.

"Yeah, I think you do," Danny whispered.

Martin closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping to gather up the courage for what he was about to say. He stood up and began pacing the floor of the living room, avoiding Danny's gaze. After a few minutes, he finally stopped in front of Danny, but still refused to look at him.

"I wondered how I would act if it had been _you_ in that bookstore, held hostage, shot. I wondered how I would feel, knowing _you_ were there bleeding to death. I didn't like the answers I came up with, Danny."

"What were they?" Danny asked softly, standing up and placing himself just inches from Martin, forcing Martin to look at him. When Martin didn't reply, Danny asked, "Was it something like this?" and leaned in to kiss Martin tenderly on his lips. "Or this?" and the kisses went to Martin's eyelids. "Or this?" and his lips went to Martin's temple as his arms slid around his waist to hold him tight.

"Yes," Martin whispered as a tear slid down his cheek.

"It's okay," Danny soothed, rubbing his hands up and down Martin's back. "It's okay."

"No, it's not!" Martin said harshly, suddenly pushing away from Danny. "It's not! How the hell am I supposed to work like this? How the hell can I do my job if I'm gonna be worried about you taking a bullet every day?!"

"By _doing_ your job," Danny replied. "By watching my back. We're partners, Fitz. In all meanings of the word. I know that now, too."

Martin sank back down onto the couch and covered his face with his hands. "I can't do this, Danny."

"No, not if you're not even willing to try."

Danny sat down next to him and tentatively put his arm around Martin's shoulders. 

"I'm willing to try, Fitz. I think you're worth it. I think _we're_ worth it."

Martin looked at Danny then, saw the honesty in the words he'd heard.

"Try?" Danny asked.

Martin swallowed and nodded his head. _I'll try._

"That's all he's asking for, a chance," the little voice in his head said.

Danny smiled. "Still got that headache?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"A little bit," Martin replied, shrugging his shoulder.

Danny stood up and offered a hand up to Martin. "Come on. I've got a great way to make it go away."

Martin shook his head and laughed, and then took the offered hand.

+ + + + + + +

Vivian couldn't help but notice that the two men seemed to be back on track. They were laughing and joking and working well together again. "I guess you boys have kissed and made up?" she asked without a thought, thinking on the previous week's problem between them.

Danny just about spit out the coffee he'd been drinking and Martin choked on the muffin he was eating.

"Must have been the brunette at Happy Hour on Friday. Danny gave me the complete lowdown on the "gorgeous baby blues" this one had," Samantha chimed in, directing her answer to Vivian. "Geez, you'd think these boys would learn that we could care less about their love lives by now," she added, rolling her eyes before slowly heading towards Jack's office, her movements still awkward on her crutches.

"A brunette with blue eyes this time, huh boys?" Vivian asked, raising her eyebrow. 

"Oh yeah, Viv," Martin replied with a wink. "Shoulda seen the way Danny was drooling over this one. 

"I'll bet," she agreed, watching as Danny continued to mop up his coffee spill. "I'll bet."

"You were doing some happy drooling of your own there, Fitz, my boy," Danny finally said.

"Hey, they call it Happy Hour for a reason!" 

"Well, boys," Vivian began quietly, as she walked over to their desks, "as long as you keep your affairs _out_ of the office, I'm sure everyone will be happy around here." 


End file.
